Puffy Heart Filled with Rocks

“3/16/13

“Dear God,

“Here’s the latest. My new year’s resolution, while I’d like to keep it, doesn’t have to kept. If I stick to it just to stick to it, I’m being a legalist. You see, there’s a girl I’m very interested in. Her name is ___(for her privacy)___.

“I don’t know what will become of it. I don’t know if she’s even interested. Part of me doesn’t want her to be, because a relationship isn’t practical right now. School starts in five months and all my time and money needs to go towards that. However, if it’s meant to be, it’ll work out somehow. You, God, are sovereign and You will work it out.

“Another part wants her to be interested. She’s the most godly girl I’ve ever met. Beautiful inside and out. Whoever ends up marrying her one day will be the luckiest guy on earth. The world is in need of more women like her. Bless her future marriage.

“If we’re meant to be, grow my desire. If not, kill it asap. I don’t want to waste time, energy, or emotions—mine or hers.

“Guide me and continue to prepare me for my future wife. I can’t wait to meet her. (Maybe I already have…only You know.)

“I love You, Lord! Whatever happens, keep my focus on You and don’t let me fall like last time. I’m living for Your glory.

“—Josh W.”

Thus I prayed a week ago and I’ve learned a ton since then. Here’s the rundown: I have a hard, prideful heart. I would have realized neither if the girl situation hadn’t happened.

She wants to be solely friends. I found out less than 28 hours after writing the prayer last Saturday. The point is that God killed my desire asap, just as I asked.

I was in the middle of reading The Discipline of Grace, by Jerry Bridges, at the time and this quote has been lodged in my mind ever since. “One further discipline is still absolutely necessary in the process of sanctification—the discipline of adversity or hardship. Adversity is not a discipline we undertake ourselves, but is imposed on us by God as a means of spiritual growth…The purpose of the discipline of adversity, then, is to make us more holy” (218). He goes on to write: “This does not necessarily mean a particular hardship is related to a specific act or habit of sin in our lives. It does mean that every expression of discipline has as its intended end conformity to the likeness of Christ” (223).

One of my friends made the comment, “Josh’s heart is like a diamond—it can’t get broken,” because he was trying to help me feel better about the girl situation not working out. I thought about it for a few minutes and I realized that regardless of whether or not a girl breaks my heart (this one didn’t) my heart doesn’t break when it should. I am a sinful creature and God has forgiven me; I should mourn over the sin in my life, but I don’t, because my heart has become hardened to the weight of sin. Luke 8:6, 13 says, “Other seed fell on the rock; when it sprang up, it withered, since it lacked moisture…And the seed on the rock are those who, when they hear, welcome the word with joy. Having no root, these believe for a while and depart in a time of testing.” I believe I’m in the good soil (as a believer in Christ) but there is truth to the fact that sometimes the ground dries up and turns into a rock (or weeds pop up at other times). Tears are moisture, and they water the ground so it doesn’t become a rock. My life lacks moisture, so I need to ask God to break my heart for what breaks His. If the girl situation hadn’t happened, my friend wouldn’t have made the comment and I wouldn’t have realized this truth.

Secondly, I’m prideful. What happened was this: several weeks ago my friend told me that the girl was interested in a godly guy (at our workplace I assumed). My prideful heart told me, “I’m the most godly guy I know, so it’s got to be me.” This brings up Proverbs 16:18, which reads, “Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall.” If I’d never fallen for the girl, I wouldn’t have realized how prideful I am. My prayer used to be, “God, be merciful to me, the sinner” (Luke 18:13, NASB). When did I fall from that to think I’m super godly? Romans 12:3 explains that, “For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one.” I was thinking of myself way too highly, and not being sensible at all. It led to a fall, but that’s for another time.

God, thank You for Your gace every day. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. I’m sick of being prideful and hard hearted. Keep me humble and repentant. I love You. Thank for teaching me these practical truths that I’ve been ignoring. It took falling for a girl to show me, but I’m glad You allowed it to happen. Thank You for letting us remain friends; she’s a great girl. I’m very glad I know her. As spoken above, her future husband is going to be one lucky guy. Bless her marriage. Prepare me for my future wife. Amen.

Biblical manhood 2--Giving People Jesus

Currently, in my Biblical manhood study, I am in the book of Acts, and a section that stuck out to me was Acts 3:1-4:4. It is the story of Peter and John healing a lame man in the temple complex. Acts 3:3-8 tells the main point of the story.

When (the lame man) saw Peter and John about to enter the temple complex, he asked for help. Peter, along with John, looked at him intently and said, “Look at us.” So he turned to them, expecting to get something from them. But Peter said, “I don’t have silver or gold, but what I have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!” Then, taking him by the right hand he raised him up, and at once his feet and ankles became strong. So he jumped up, stood, and started to walk, and he entered the temple complex with them—walking, leaping, and praising God.

It goes on to show that it was an avenue for preaching the gospel to the people around him, but for now I’m going to focus on this section.

Biblical men give people Jesus in word and action. It can’t be one or the other. It needs to be both. Actions prove words true and may even give an occasion for words.

People in our world need help—monetarily, emotionally, spiritually—and we are here called to help them. We can’t live lives of selfish isolation, only worrying about ourselves and our agendas. We are to give people of ourselves, and thus give people Jesus. First John 3:16 says, “This is how we have come to know love: (Christ) laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.” You cannot give up your life if you are selfish and hold onto Jesus for yourself and never share Him. And, while the verse speaks of brothers (Christians) we are elsewhere told to love everyone—even our enemies (Matthew 5:44-45). If you refuse to share the gospel with them, you don’t love them.

Spiritual needs aren’t the only needs people have. The passage in Acts proves this. Peter and John miraculously heal the man and people see it. They see them give Him Jesus in action and verses 9-12, 16 elaborate.

All the people saw him walking and praising God, and they recognized that he was the one who used to sit and beg at the Beautiful Gate of the temple complex. So they were filled with awe and astonishment at what had happened to him. While he was holding on to Peter and John, all the people, greatly amazed, ran toward them in what is called Solomon’s Colonnade. When Peter saw this, he addressed the people: “Men of Israel, why are you amazed at this? Or why do you stare at us, as though we had made him walk by our own power or godliness?…By faith in His name, His name has made this man strong, whom you see and know. So the faith that comes through Him has given him this perfect health in front of all of you.”

These people saw Peter and John heal the lame man and wanted to know more which led to a gospel proclamation.

The point is that sometimes, rather than just diving into the gospel, we should offer people something else first. Does your neighbor need yard work? Offer to mow his lawn for free.  Does your coworker need dinner? Offer to buy for the both of you. Does your enemy need his car washed? Offer to wash it (and do so carefully—no scratches). Selfless acts like these are what John meant when he wrote that “We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.” Doing good without expecting anything in return is exactly what is meant here. If you die for someone, you aren’t going to get another shot at living; so it should be with good deeds. Don’t expect benefits in return.

Verse six is still the central point of this passage. “But Peter said, ‘I don’t have silver or gold, but what I have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!’”

I don’t believe that it’s appropriate to tell a homeless person, “I have no money, but I do have Jesus. Listen to me!” Most of us, even if we have no cash, still carry credit cards and can easily go into a fast food place and buy something for the person and then share the gospel while they eat. If you care enough to cover a physical need for them, they will be more inclined to listen about their spiritual need for Christ. This is proved in the Acts passage. He asked for money. Peter said he had none. Then he healed him. Then he shared the gospel.

We need to give people Jesus in word and action.

Do I only use words? Or do I only use deeds? Either one, alone, is off-balance and wrong. I need both.

God, please help my actions give people Your Son and not just my words. Help my words center more around You as well. I need help in both of these areas.

P.S.     Maybe you’re wondering about the other part of my New Year’s resolution prayer. There is a girl on my mind these days, and I’m praying that it goes away, but I tag this on the end of this post because it also goes with Peter’s statement in verse six of Acts 3. “I don’t have silver or gold, but…I have…Jesus Christ the Nazarene.” I’m praying hard that she doesn’t become an idol, which is exactly the reason why I made the resolution in the first place. I need to realize that I don’t have much money, I don’t have much free time, I don’t have a girlfriend, but I do have Jesus Christ, and really, He is ALL I need to be content.

More later, (maybe) but for now know that this is where I’m at in my New Year’s resolution prayer. I’m praying for strength. If you could pray too, I’d appreciate it.

Biblical manhood 1--Correctly Preaching the Truth

Today I read the words of one of my favorite Bible characters and figured I would share what I learned from him. His name is Elihu and the only time he shows up in the Bible is Job 32-37. Job 32:6-8 and 17-22 explain the main truth that Elihu teaches about being a biblical man of God.

So Elihu son of Barachel the Buzite replied:

I am young in years,

while you are old;

therefore I was timid and afraid

to tell you what I know.

I thought that age should speak

and maturity should teach wisdom.

But it is a spirit in man

and the breath of the Almighty

that give him understanding…

I too will answer;

yes, I will tell what I know.

For I am full of words,

and my spirit compels me ⌊to speak⌋.

My heart is like unvented wine;

it is about to burst like new wineskins.

I must speak so that I can find relief;

I must open my lips and respond.

I will be partial to no one,

and I will not give anyone an ⌊undeserved⌋ title.

For I do not know how to give ⌊such⌋ titles;

otherwise, my Maker would remove me in an instant.

From this, I quickly recognize that Biblical men preach the truth despite their age. They learn truth so they can share it when need be.

Up to this point, Job’s friends were telling Job that the reason life was so bad was because he had unconfessed sin in his life and God was punishing him for it; oblivious to Satan’s claim that Job would curse God if God let bad things happen to him. Bildad, Zophar, and Eliphaz—not to mention Job and Elihu—had no idea why so many bad things were happening to Job, but they claimed it was due to sin, going off a very low view of God. One that says, “God is holy and He will punish sin, and righteousness will be rewarded.”

All Job can say is, “I’m innocent. I help people (16:4-5), I don’t lust (31:1, 9-12), I confess my sin—I know I have some I struggle with (7:20-21). God is still with me (13:15).”

This is why Elihu comes in with words blazing. Job admits he’s not sinless, and he does good for others, but all Bildad, Zophar, and Eliphaz can do is condemn him. After a long speech by Job about why this treatment by God is not about sin in his life, he stops talking and the original three don’t speak. This is when Elihu says, “I am young in years, while you are old; therefore I was timid and afraid to tell you what I know. I thought that age should speak and maturity should teach wisdom. But it is a spirit in man and the breath of the Almighty that give him understanding.” This is reminiscent of 1 Timothy 4:12, where Paul tells Timothy to “be an example to the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” Elihu is clearly an example of speech in what he says and conduct in how he says it. He doesn’t yell and interrupt, he waits for a pause in the conversation.

So, in addition to me learning truth to be able to share it when need be, I need to learn the proper way to do it. I need to not fight to be heard; I need to wait for people to listen to what I have to say.

The last six verses of Job 32 explain more. Elihu says,

I too will answer; yes, I will tell what I know. For I am full of words, and my spirit compels me ⌊to speak⌋. My heart is like unvented wine; it is about to burst like new wineskins. I must speak so that I can find relief; I must open my lips and respond. I will be partial to no one, and I will not give anyone an ⌊undeserved⌋ title. For I do not know how to give ⌊such⌋ titles; otherwise, my Maker would remove me in an instant.”

This goes to show that the truth of God is not meant to be held up inside of us. Elihu was about to explode, and I feel the same way often. However, the last two verses of the chapter are key. This goes to show exactly what Elihu was going to speak about. He wasn’t going to call Job a sinner or innocent, and he wasn’t going to blast the other three guys either. He was there to speak about God, and God alone. He wanted to point Job and his friends to God, and not himself. He even says that if he was to call them anything undeserved, God would remove him instantly.

If I’m going to be a man of God I need to preach the truth about God and let that convict people. I need to not just blast people about sin and judgment and then add the truth that Christ came for them. I need to preach that God is holy, righteous, all-knowing, creator, etc…

In closing, if you look at the end of chapter 37 and the beginning of 38, we see that heavy, true preaching of God will bring God’s presence and allow people to hear Him speak. Elihu says,

“‘Yet out of the north He comes, ⌊shrouded⌋ in a golden ⌊glow⌋;

awesome majesty surrounds Him.

The Almighty—we cannot reach Him—

He is exalted in power!

He will not oppress justice and abundant righteousness,

Therefore, men fear Him.

He does not look favorably on any who are wise in heart.’

Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind. He said:

‘Who is this who obscures ⌊My⌋ counsel

with ignorant words?

Get ready to answer Me like a man;

when I question you, you will inform Me.’” (Job 37:22-38:3)

Elihu concludes, and God begins His discourse to Job by asking him when he became the know-it-all about everything.

If I’m to be a man of God, I need to make sure I prepare the ground for God to do His work. I prepare the soil, but God plants and grows the fruit.

Do I study the truth in order to share it or just to make me feel good about myself? Is what I say really truth, or just my ideas?

God, let me use my knowledge to help others. Don’t let me keep it to myself. Keep my teachings sound, please.

Resolved 2013

So, before I get into 2013, I want to recap 2012. I wanted to read the Bible through twice, finish the rough draft of my novel, Stranded, and finish my CD, L.I.L.F.Y.T.R.. I read the Bible three times, finished two drafts of the novel, and finished and am currently selling my CD.

So, with that said, 2013 could be successful as well. Except that my biggest goal is not to finish anything. Rather it is to start several things. It's also more of a prayer than a resolution.

Here goes:

"God, 2013 is upon me now. I have no idea what it holds for me or my family or my friends. I have no idea how it will affect my future. But I do know that You know it completely already so I can trust You in it wholeheartedly.

"That's easy to say, but not so easy to do. Give me the grace to trust You completely everyday. Help me get to know You more. Help me grow more in love with You. So much so that my current love looks like apathy in comparison. I need You LORD. Help me remember this everyday.

"I need Your help to be sexually pure this whole year. Let it be the first year of purity that continues for the rest of my life. Help me learn true purity. Just not losing my virginity is not enough. Just not doing things with girls is not enough. Just not looking at arousing images is not enough. I want to be pure; not half dirty. 1 John 1:9 says that the blood of Jesus cleanses me from all sin. I want to be cleansed of this sin this year. I can't do it alone though. I need Your help. Help me remember to run to You in time of need.

"In addition, keep me from pursuing any 'relationships' this year. I need to focus solely on You and grow in love towards you before I can ever hope to lead a woman. My flesh would love to meet someone. Help me overcome this. I need You, not a distraction. If she (the one) comes into my life this year, so be it, just don't let me pursue her until 2014. Give me the grace to accomplish this task.

"Finally, I want to learn what it means to be a biblical man. Help me find this in my Bible reading this year. Help me grow in this area. Men should not be selfish, so help me put on a selfless attitude. Men should not covet what they do not have, so help me learn contentment in You. Men should not be angry about nothing, so help me learn self-control. Help me learn more about what it means to be a man as well. Please give me the grace for all of this as well.

"God, I really hope this can all be a reality. It will be a huge struggle and a daily fight, but please give me the grace to accomplish all of this.

"Sincerely,

"Josh Wingerd"

Well, there's my resolution. I'll be updating my blog this year with thoughts, findings, and experiences of grace from this year.

Have a happy 2013.

Soli Deo Gloria.

Gone Fishin

I became a fishing pole last night.

Allow me to explain what I mean.

In Matthew 4:19 Jesus says, "Follow Me...and I will make you fish for people!" However, notice I said I was the fishing pole, not the fisherman. Speaking of the Holy Spirit, Jesus said in John 16:8: "He will convict the world about sin, righteousness, and judgment:"

I went to the Mission Inn in Riverside last night and evangelized to the people there. Did I catch anyone? I didn’t. Did the Holy Spirit? Very possibly. You see, the Holy Spirit is the One Who’s truly fishing. I’m just the pole, and the Gospel tracts I hand out are the bait.

A lot more bait got out than clearly hooked anyone, but as I said to several people, “There’s a message on the back. If you read it and believe it, it could change your life.” I don’t believe that that is a misleading lie. In fact, the Gospel has all the power it needs. Romans 10:14 says, “But how can they call on Him they have not believed in? And how can they believe without hearing about Him? And how can they hear without a preacher?” The Gospel message on the back of the tracts is plenty to convict a person of sin if the Spirit so wills that they be saved. I’d prefer to explain it myself, but if they “don’t have time” or “need to be somewhere” I pray that the message on the back is read and embraced by them.

Something I noticed is that while I hold out these $1,000,000 bill tracts, adults will stare at them longingly, but children will come ask for one or even grab one from my hand. I think it goes to emphasize what Jesus said in Mark 10:15. “I assure you: whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” You have to be willing to take a step of faith. For the kids, it’s grabbing the tracts. For the adults, it’s following their child’s example.

Something I have to mention is that if I know I’m going to be out witnessing to people I always wear the same shirt. It’s bright yellow and it reads, “ON MY 11Six.” It’s put out by Reach Records—Lecrae, Trip Lee, Andy Mineo—and it’s based off of Romans 1:16, being unashamed of the Gospel. I wear it for two reasons. One, if I get lost, the yellow color will help anyone find me. Two, there are a lot more verses in the Bible than Romans 1:16, that contain 1:16 in the reference. You can get a decent theology just by looking at these verses. I will be releasing a song—hopefully in the near future—about this very topic.

I’m blessed that God would save me so that I can spread His glorious message to others who need it just as badly as I need it.

Anyways, I pray that if you read this you would become bold and share the Gospel yourself. If you aren’t doing it, why are you still alive? The goal of a Christian is to be in the world, not of it, so we can share the Gospel with the lost world.

Church Membership = Necessary?

     As of January 6th, I will be switching church membership from a large, well established church in my town to a small, relatively new church in the next town. I told this to some family friends about a week ago and the response I got was surprising. “You don’t have to switch membership. Membership doesn’t really mean anything anyways.”
     I must say that I do agree with that statement as far as the larger church goes, but based on the book, “9 Marks of a Healthy Church” by Mark Dever, membership is important and I see it as such at the church I will be moving to. At my current church the only thing being a member does for you is allows you to be on their payroll (as a custodian, office worker, childcare person, or coffee shop employee), but according to Dever—and what I see at my future home church—membership helps assure ourselves of salvation, helps evangelize the world, helps expose false gospels, helps edify the church, and glorifies God.
     I want to focus on the edify section. No, there is nowhere a perfect church, until the whole church of Jesus is safely in heaven, but some are definitely healthier than others. I will leave that statement at that and move on to the fact that all I have to offer a church is my sinful, grace saved self. Dever wrote, “Whenever you join a church, you will bring problems into that church! But don’t let that stop you—they’ve got problems already! That’s why they’re in a church. I’ve got problems; you’ve got problems. But we know that Jesus is Lord, and that His Spirit has already begun to work on those problems.” If you say your church is perfect, you’re drastically confused, because that would imply that you think you are perfect too. It’s not the case. Dever goes on to write that “church membership is our ability to…make it known that we are the responsibility of this local church.”
     This is where I want to land this thing. I attended the larger church for 18 years of my life, and have never been truly disciple by anyone. I’ve attended (“secretly”) my future church for the past year and a half and the pastors have already told me that they see me as their responsibility even though I’m not even a member yet. I need this kind of care. Jesus is the good shepherd; pastors are His undershepherds. I need to be cared for the way shepherds care for their sheep, and this is not happening at my current church, so i need to leave. Is your church providing for your spiritual needs?
     To close, I leave you a challenge. Dever wrote, “Jesus said, ‘I will build my church’ (Matt. 16:18). If Jesus is committed to the church, should we be any less committed to it?” (pg. 159). I fully agree with this statement. If you are not a member of a local church, why aren’t you? We need to be committed to Christ and we show this externally by committing to a church.

Hat Flipped Up and Pants Sagged Down

Why are people so quick to judge? It’s really annoying. Not going to lie, but I hate being judged. I hate being criticized. I hate being looked down on. Don’t get me wrong though— I appreciate constructive criticism— in fact I love it. What I hate is when people look at me— specifically how I dress— and judge me in their mind. Allow me to explain myself.

I was at church this weekend and a missionary we support was visiting. My friend and I decided to talk with him after service. She was excited to talk to the missionary about Africa and stuff and the missionary was thoroughly interested. I tried to keep quiet (I’ll explain more in an upcoming post). Finally the missionary asked me what I wanted to do in the future and before I could answer my friend said, “He wants to be a pastor.” I saw the missionary look me over— head to foot to head— and watched his face change. Basically saying, “This tall, skinny kid whose hat is cocked to the side and his jeans are falling off wants to be a pastor? What’s this world coming to?” I was appalled.

You see, there are at least five Bible verses that I have taken up that put my casual dress appearance to ease. Allow me to share. 1 Samuel 16:7, 1 Corinthians 9:22b, Colossians 3:1, Romans 7:14-25, and 1 Timothy 4:12.

1 Samuel 16:7 says, “But the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.’”

When it comes to how I dress all I have to remember is that God doesn’t care about that. What He cares about is where my heart is. And where my heart is, as I will show in the following verses, is on God. My dress keeps me focused on Him actually.

1 Corinthians 9:22b says, “I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some.”

I’m all about going out and spreading the gospel. One key way I go about that is through rap music. My own. Shai Linne’s. Trip Lee’s. If you do rap music, you can’t wear your pants above your hips. It just doesn’t give the right image and people say, “wow, what a poser. I’m not gonna listen to him.” So, to fit the image pants must sag. In addition, I live in a “ghetto” of my city. If I’m gonna do any good I’ve got to dress the part. It’s that easy. No gangster is going to listen to someone who wears his pants above his waist, shirt tucked in, etc.

Colossians 3:1 says, “Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.”

This verse speaks about my hat.  Well not really, but soon you’ll understand. I had a really good friend, who I rarely talk to anymore unfortunately, but I would always turn my hat crooked and point the bill at her, saying, “my hat points at my favorite person in the room.” She never liked it, but the truth is now: I point my hat at my favorite Person in the world— Jesus Christ. If He’s at the right hand of the Father, up in Heaven, and my hat points at my favorite Person, then logically my hat is pointing up, slightly right of center. Every time I remember my hat I think of Jesus. He’s higher, better, and greater than me, but He is my right hand Man through all trials, temptations, and struggles.

Romans 7:14-25 says, “For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.”

This passage is a long, complicated way of saying, “sin is warring against me, trying to get me down. I have to fight the temptations to come out on top.” This is where my sagging jeans come in. If my pants are slowly working their way down my waist every day, and I have to pull them back up constantly, it reminds me of sin. I have to keep on top of temptations and not them get a hold in my mind, because that is when sin comes in. I have overcome several temptations recently, solely by thinking about my pants— or even just in the process of getting them back up above my hips. Sin wants to get me down just like my pants want to fall down, but I have to work to keep myself above sin and to keep my pants on my waist. If I kept my pants above my waist 100% of the time I’d forget about the spiritual warfare quite quickly.

1 Timothy 4:12 says, “Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.”

This verse will close out this post. Nowhere in here does it say that you have to wear your pants above your waist to be an example. The closest thing to that is “conduct”, but I believe that is speaking of how you live your life, not how you dress while living life. Purity isn’t really an issue either. My mom has told me numerous times, “girls would like you more if you wear your clothes right.” Thus, I would be leading more people into sinful thoughts if my pants were up high than if they’re slightly sagged.

Well, there are my thoughts. I want to be a pastor one day, and yes, when I am preaching I will be dressed up. But as long as I’m not behind a pulpit I will dress to reflect Christ (with my hat) and my war against sin (with my pants). Say what you want but this is me.

Prayer Bargaining pt 2

Judges 11:30-35— “Jephthah made a vow to the LORD and said, “If You will indeed give the sons of Ammon into my hand, then it shall be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the sons of Ammon, it shall be the LORD’S, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering.” So Jephthah crossed over to the sons of Ammon to fight against them; and the LORD gave them into his hand. He struck them with a very great slaughter from Aroer to the entrance of Minnith, twenty cities, and as far as Abel-keramim. So the sons of Ammon were subdued before the sons of Israel. When Jephthah came to his house at Mizpah, behold, his daughter was coming out to meet him with tambourines and with dancing. Now she was his one and only child; besides her he had no son or daughter. When he saw her, he tore his clothes and said, “Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low, and you are among those who trouble me; for I have given my word to the LORD, and I cannot take it back.””

So, I read this today and it reminded me of my post from a couple days ago about prayer bargaining with God. Clearly it’s not a good idea. Because, it would be highly possible for to happen. I would not be able to follow through on my vow, but we as Christians are called to live up to our word. So the warning is not to promise God anything if He will do one certain thing for us. So, I thank God again for showing me that I shouldn’t bargain with Him, and for allowing me to hear Him through His word.

Transformed Mind

Romans 12:2- “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Let’s just say that I had tons of stuff to write on this verse, specifically the “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” section, but I just started thinking about the rest of the verse and it made 65 times more sense why God had put the verse in my head at all. I’ll keep it simple for you though.

Tuesday night I was lying in bed and my mind was wandering where it shouldn’t have been. All of a sudden “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” popped into my head and it helped immensely. I still haven’t been able to get it out of my head so I decided to write it down, and in doing so I wrote the whole verse.

Reading the verse in its entirety clears it up for me as to why God put it into my head. Let’s just say I’ve been praying for Him to reveal His will to me, and there it is. “be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is”. So therefore, in order for me to know God’s will, my mind needs to be transformed.

This leads to questions about whether this happens at salvation, or whether it’s a Christian maturity thing. Personally, I have no clue. I think it’s more along the lines of maturity because I’ve been a Christian for almost two years now and I know for a fact my mind could still use transformation. Romans 7 and the whole topic of sanctification back me up on this.

But, in closing, let me just say that God does speak to us through His Word when we take the time to get to know it and the time to quiet ourselves to hear Him.

Prayer Bargaining pt 1

Prayer... As i said before, it's one of those things that has a lot of different ideas swirling around it. For the last 6 or 7 years, my view of prayer has been changing significantly. Six years ago i decided (stupidly) that prayer was pointless because i couldn't see any proof that it was working. (All i prayed for was a good day and for my left hand to get better.) Then, almost exactly 2 years ago this view of prayer led me to say that there was no possible way God could be real. (Nothing is further from the truth.) But now i've found myself longing to pray, but every time i do i find myself falling into this really bad habit of what i have come to call 'Bargaining with God'.

It’s not that it’s an evil thing to do, because it’s in the Bible and it works for the people that do it. However, I find myself constantly praying something like, “God, if I’m supposed to do a, let x happen, but if I’m not supposed to do a, let y happen.”

You might think, “oh, that’s like what Gideon did,” and yes, I’d have to agree with you. Judges 6:36-40 tells the story:

Then Gideon said to God, “If You will deliver Israel through me, as You have spoken, behold, I will put a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece only, and it is dry on all the ground, then I will know that You will deliver Israel through me, as You have spoken.” And it was so. When he arose early the next morning and squeezed the fleece, he drained the dew from the fleece, a bowl full of water. Then Gideon said to God, “Do not let Your anger burn against me that I may speak once more; please let me make a test once more with the fleece, let it now be dry only on the fleece, and let there be dew on all the ground.” God did so that night; for it was dry only on the fleece, and dew was on all the ground.

Which is exactly what I’ve found myself doing. “God, if you want me to do this, let this happen, and if you don’t, let this other thing happen.” I don’t know if it shows a lack of faith, demanding a sign, but it’s confusing. Another key example in the Bible is Genesis 24:12-14:

He said, “O LORD, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show lovingkindness to my master Abraham. Behold, I am standing by the spring, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water; now may it be that the girl to whom I say, ‘Please let down your jar so that I may drink,’ and who answers, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also’—may she be the one whom You have appointed for Your servant Isaac; and by this I will know that You have shown lovingkindness to my master.”

The story then goes on to explain that a girl came out, named Rebecca, and did everything the guy prayed for. She later became the mother of Jacob and Esau.

So my thing these days is to stop doing this with my prayers. What I need to do is just pray. No giving God requirements. His plans are higher than mine. His plans are holier than mine. His plans are better than mine. I mean, honestly, if I had had my way, I’d probably be playing baseball somewhere right now saying, “God look at all the money I’ve got. I don’t need You.” And then end up in hell when I die. I thank Him every time I think about it that He gave me a stroke so I would hit rock bottom and realize, “dang, I’m gonna be in big trouble if I die without You.”

So, after hearing my pastor preach, verse by verse, on what’s commonly known as “the Lord’s prayer,” which he dubbed “the disciples’ prayer,” due to the fact that it was our Lord teaching His followers how to pray, I decided to make a list of things to pray for every day. It went well for a few days, but soon I had stopped again. Things crowded it out and I would put it off and never get back to it. Never a good idea.

When I took a road trip back east at Christmas time, I decided to take the six sermons along so I could rejuvenate my prayer life. It worked. For like a week— if that.

So, after this past week I’ve decided to try again— differently. You see, I’ve started running again (after almost two years off) and I’ve realized that’s a great time, especially early in the morning, to just pray. There’s really no distractions while I’m out on the sidewalk. Just me and God for the most part. Especially at 6 a.m.

But, I’ve caught myself, especially this week, pulling the Abraham’s servant prayers again. I mean when he did it, there was no problem with what he was doing. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with mine either, but I think I should just settle with praying, “God, give me guidance and direction in x, y, and z in my life.”

Tonight, walking home from church, I decided to take an out of my way route and spend a good fifteen minutes just praying, out loud, to God. At least five times I caught myself doing the Abraham’s servant prayer, and then I’d say, “nevermind. Just give me guidance and direction please.”

It’s complicated but it’s true. I know there’s no real answer to anything here, but I figured I’d give you my thoughts. God wants you to pray for everything, even the little things. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “…Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” Don’t just pray for big things. Pray for little things too. He wants to hear you speak to Him.

And just as a closing thought, I thought about this earlier today.  When I used to hang out with my best friend everyday, we’d always talk about girls we like. And, for some probably similar reason, it seems like that’s my favorite subject to talk to God about. A guy can never have too much Godly guidance on that topic.