Ready to Answer

First Peter 3:15 says, “But honor the Messiah as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.” It is imperative that we as Christians live out this verse in our daily lives. There is no time to mope about our position/situation in life, because that centers our eyes directly on ourselves. There is no time to waste in sins, as appealing as they might be in the moment, because indulging in them brings guilt that throws our confidence and assurance out the window. There is no time to let our attitudes grow heated toward anyone, because we don’t know who’s watching.

I’ll be totally honest. I moped around too much yesterday. I didn’t want to see anyone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to do anything. It was not a good place to be, and I had to be on extra guard against lashing out at people or wandering into other old, familiar sin patterns. Other than the selfish moping, and a close call as far as lashing out goes, I stood strong. However, yesterday isn’t my point. It’s simply supposed to be a contrast with today.

I woke up this morning and spent time on my knees, asking the Lord, “Help me to honor You today in my thoughts, attitudes, and actions. Help me to think about You always. Don’t let Satan fill my head with nonsense; don’t let me listen to his nonsense. I need You. I need truth.” And with that I moved on with my day, which was great. At one point, the doorbell rang, my dad answered it, and he asked the Jehovah’s Witnesses standing there to leave; my internal response was, “I want the opportunity to talk to one about true salvation.” This afternoon I went to Starbucks (my escape for excessive coffee intake and less-distracted focus on writing projects) to get some writing done. After I got my coffee and had my computer open, I prayed for the opportunity to speak to someone about Jesus and the salvation He offers. I was there for a little under an hour, trying to make some progress on a brand new short story, when an older gentleman walked in carrying a very large Bible under his arm, seemingly showing it off to the world; my thought was, “Wow, this guy is really proud and wants people to see what he’s carrying (I prefer to conceal carry my sword).” I hoped that it was a real Bible, and not one of those New World (Jehovah’s Witness) Translations.

When he finally sat down with his drink, he noticed that I had a Bible on my table. He asked me what I was working on, and I tried to explain that it was nothing directly involving the Word. He proceeded to tell me about a website that could answer my questions about family, marriage, etc. Why those specific topics, I don’t know, but that’s what he said. Being the curious guy that I am, I wanted to ask for him to repeat the website for me, hoping against hope that it wasn’t jw.org (the only part of it I’d caught was the .org portion), so I walked over to his table.

When I reached his table, the words printed above “Bible” confirmed my fears: “New World Translation.” He asked me my name, so I gave it, and he gave me his as well: Chester (name changed to protect identity, but God knows who you’re talking about if you pray for him). I decided to ask anyways about the website, knowing the answer I’d get. But then it began. My almost two hour conversation with a Jehovah’s Witness.

I’ve read some about them, but initially I couldn’t remember much. My heart was thumping hard as the conversation began. I prayed silently that God would calm my nerves and give me the words to say, and He answered my request. Chester had the floor at first, and I pretended I was simply a seeker, wanting answers to what was in the Bible. We compared a lot of passages, and he began by “convincing” me that God the Father is Jehovah. I was fine with that, though I prefer to refer to the Father as Yahweh (it’s a better transliteration of the  Hebrew). Then he moved on to discuss Jesus, and this was where the red flags started flying, because I remembered that the Jehovah’s Witnesses hate the doctrine of the Trinity. They believe that Jesus is a separate God created by God the Father. This conversation went back and forth; I tried pointing out proof of the trinity; he tried pointing out proof that Jesus is subordinate to the Father; I tried telling him I agreed with him, and that I think there’s diversity between them though they are still the same being (the Trinity is hard; probably why they deny it). He tried to explain that Jesus was the first creation of God (Colossians 1:15 misunderstood), and that got us talking about how I believe that Jesus and Yahweh are actually the same and that both were really present at creation (see similarities between Genesis 1:1 and John 1:1), and he ignored John 1:1 (thank You, Jesus) and stuck with Genesis 1:2, about the Spirit being present. I was really happy about this move, because technically he checkmated himself. If Jesus is the first created thing, how come the Spirit is hovering before anything is created? That would mean Jesus is at least the second created thing. But when I posed that question, he quickly changed the subject.

After a while, I got tired of the back and forth—no one agreeing—so I asked Chester how to get saved, which made him really happy to talk about. I listened closely, trying to figure out his understanding so I didn’t misrepresent him in my response. It ultimately boiled down to praying, reading the Bible, and knowing that God is ultimately in charge of peoples’ destinies (interestingly, he put a higher premium on reading than praying, but God’s infallible will was the ultimate clincher). I told him I needed concrete proof to know that I can be saved in the end, because I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life, and I could die before I got home tonight (I had ridden my bike in dark clothing to Starbucks, and it was dark by this point in our conversation), so I needed to know that I was fine before I left that building. He said something along the lines of: “Don’t doubt that Jehovah knows best and will place you where you need to go.” I told him I needed assurance, but he had none for me.

At this point I came clean about my beliefs, and told him that only in Jesus is there forgiveness of sins. It was His sacrifice that made me right with God and His resurrection that gives me hope and life eternal after I am resurrected from the dead. I asked him to believe in Jesus as God and as his only hope.

He wanted to recap with me, so he asked me who the creator and ruler and greatest being in the universe was. I said, “Jesus Christ.” He winced. He asked me again. I repeated it again. He winced again. I told him bluntly that Jesus Christ is God, the God, the Creator, and in Him alone is forgiveness of sins. I asked Him to believe, and right before I left I took him back to a verse he had pointed out earlier in regards to praying: Isaiah 64:8. His prayer is that God would mold him into the vessel God wants him to be; I told him to keep praying that and to humbly ask God (Jehovah or Yahweh or Lord or κύριος or יהוה‎ or whatever you call Him in your language) if maybe the vessel he needs to be molded into is one that believes Christ is God and the only hope for salvation.

We shook hands, thanked each other for the others’ time, and parted ways.

My point in all this is: are you living a life that’s ready to give an answer to someone else? Yesterday I wasn’t. Today I was. Because of today, tomorrow I will strive to be ready again. The world will only come to know the Lord as His people speak the gospel: we are sin-full, God is love; Jesus lived, Jesus died, Jesus rose; the Holy Spirit empowers and He does God’s work through us, but never for us to pat ourselves on the back. The best way for us to do this is to live in His Word, develop a vibrant prayer life, and study other belief systems out there. My plan is to read the chapter on Jehovah’s Witnesses in Josh McDowell’s Handbook of Today’s Religions in the next 24 hours.

I don’t know if Chester was even listening to my points, but I know he was trying to ignore them and brush them aside, and brainwash me into his position. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit would open his eyes so that he would come to know the Lord. Please pray for the same with me. Also pray that if I run into him again (possibly a week from today) that I would be empowered to speak the truth again.

Soli Deo Gloria.

"Welcome to da Faith" preview

So it’s been way too long since I’ve posted anything to my blog. I don’t really have a clue how many people actually read it, but I also don’t really care. I write everything I write—sermons, raps, blogposts, essays, letters—in order to organize my own thoughts better, and if they can help someone else, then good for them; I’m glad God can use me for that, but it’s not my primary goal, especially in writing a blogpost.

So tonight it’s 10 pm and I’m less than 3 months away from having my bachelor’s degree work completed, and honestly I have no clue what I’m going to do afterwards, except that I’m releasing a new rap album in February. While my previous album was about assurance of salvation from 1 John 4:15-17, my current project is focusing on living life in light of salvation. I’ve been walking this thing for 5 years and the most helpful verse in my life—from even day one—has been John 15:5, which reads, “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.”

Those are the very words of Jesus, and as such, they are extremely important. In preparing the album, which has been slowly coming together for 3+ years now, I asked myself the question, “What are the most important things that I would have liked to have been told the day I became a Christian (in hindsight)?” And they all ultimately play into John 15:5, because that verse is the center of Christianity. So when I had a list of thirty possible songs, the question posed above was the filter.

Tracks include some of the following themes: imputed righteousness, progressive sanctification, living by the Spirit, the importance of having gospel-centered role models, the deity and humanity of Christ, God’s amazing love for His children, the need for evangelism, the usefulness of Scripture, and more, all presented clearly for the average listener over beats and in rhymes. And included in each track is Jesus Christ, because every day of living the Christian life should make Christ look more beautiful than He did the previous day.

Prayers are much appreciated as I continue this journey called the Christian race and continue working on this project titled Welcome to da Faith. Facebook will have more information and updates over the next five months. Hopefully more blog posts will follow as well, but I am trying to get an education, so forgive me if I don't write again before next year. :)

Grace and Peace.

In Christ,

liL fytr (Josh Wingerd)

I Like Big Buts and I Cannot Lie – or – Why Me, God?

 One of my favorite Biblical passages is Ephesians 2:1-10. Let’s first look at the first five verses:

“And you were dead in your trespasses and sins in which you previously walked according to the ways of this world, according to the ruler who exercises authority over the lower heavens, the spirit now working in the disobedient. We too all previously lived among them in our fleshly desires, carrying out the inclinations of our flesh and thoughts, and we were by nature children under wrath as the others were also. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. You are saved by grace!”

To quote (differently) an old-school rapper, “I like big buts (B-U-T-S) and I cannot lie,” but don’t trip, I’m speaking grammatically. I’ve considered making a parody of the song, but I don’t think it would go over too well. The “But,” that starts verse four is HUGE. Before it comes around, I was dead in sin, under Satan’s dominion, enslaved to sin, and under God’s wrath. BUT God made me alive by grace alone! HALLELUJAH! What a Savior!

Sometimes I wonder where I would be right now if it wasn’t for the grace of God in my heart. Considering that I had declared myself an atheist four-and-a-half months before I was saved, it’s a scary question to contemplate. God would have been perfectly just to allow me to continue in that blatant rebellion and end up cursing me to hell. It’s proof that God’s ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:9); His plans are higher than my plans; His grace is amazing—I can’t get past it / I don’t know how without Him I ever lasted. It’s proof that just because someone turns their back on the faith he or she isn’t necessarily lost for good. God will save whoever He wants. It’s a comforting thought.

However, it leads to another uncomfortable thought. Why me? What was there about me that made God want me? I’m the one who’d called Him every curse word you can imagine; I’m the one who told Him to go to Hell; I’m the one who cursed Him to His face. He still chose to show me grace. Nothing about me merited salvation.

All I’d done that “deserved” salvation, was pray the sinner’s prayer every year since I was seven; by eighteen I gave up because it never changed anything. It never healed my left hand; it never helped my relationship with my parents; it never helped me make friends. Christianity was a joke to me. And then I came across one of the great apostasy passages in the Bible: John 15:6.

Jesus said, “If anyone does not remain in Me, he is thrown aside like a branch and he withers. They gather them, throw them into the fire, and they are burned.” I instantly recognized this as myself, especially considering the fact that I grew up in the church. I knew I wasn’t truly in Him. It was then that God snatched me out of death and gave me spiritual life. I was dead in sins like a dead branch, but God grafted me into Christ. In that moment I didn’t ask Christ to come into my life. I told Him I’m sorry for my lust, pride, and hatred, and I was ready for Him to use my story to bring Him glory. I wanted out of the spotlight; I just wanted to point to Him.

The passage continues with verses 6-10:

“Together with Christ Jesus He also raised us up and seated us in the heavens, so that in the coming ages He might display the immeasurable riches of His grace through ⌊His⌋ kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—not from works, so that no one can boast. For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.”

I’ll keep this portion brief. It initially ties back into the statement I made prior about not praying the sinner’s prayer before being actually saved. Verse six explains that God raised me up and seated me in the heavens with Christ. I did nothing to get there myself. Dead people don’t bring themselves back to life. In the same way, in John 3 with the new birth, no one chooses to be born; the second birth is the same way. The first is of the flesh from my mother; the second is of the spirit from my Savior.

Verses 8-9 is also very clear to state that salvation is not of works. If it was, then I could be proud and I could boast. However, it wasn’t. God elected me before the foundation of the world to be saved (Ephesians 1:3-14), and He breathed spiritual life into me when I was dead in sin. I chose to believe (Ephesians 1:13), but it was only after God changed my heart. Illustration: Offer an African lion a raw steak or a salad and it will naturally choose the raw steak every time unless its nature is changed. In the same way, when offered God or sin, a person will naturally choose sin unless God has changed his or her nature. I can’t boast in my salvation, because it’s all of God.

Verse ten talks about good works that God planned for me. This is the craziest part of my salvation. Not only did God rescue me from death, but He wants to use me as well. Second Corinthians 5:20 says, “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, certain that God is appealing through us. We plead on Christ’s behalf, “Be reconciled to God.” This is my new job as a believer in Christ, and it’s a good work. I don’t know who is elect, so I’m called to preach to as many people as possible and call them to trust Christ with their lives. God has many people in this world (Acts 18:9-10), many of whom still need to hear the good news.

What’s your “big but” story? How will God use you to bring more people to trust Christ? Go out and proclaim the message, knowing that God is faithful to use your proclamation to bring His people to Him.

Paradise or Pair-of-dice?

At my old job, there’s a story that is passed from staff to students about an Indian chief who died. This chief was very kind and generous all the time. When he died, “The Great Spirit” came to him with a choice about where to spend eternity. She showed him both locations: one had angry, selfish people; the other had happy, generous people. The people were stiff and upright—locked knees and elbows—at both places. Both locations had huge feasts “miraculously” prepared for the people to partake of.  The Indian chief is first shown the “bad” place, where the selfish people try to feed themselves, but can’t eat anything because they are so stiff; then he is shown the “good” one, where the people feed each other. He chooses the “bad” location. Once he chooses it, he becomes stiff and upright, and he goes to meet with the people there. When he gets to the feast, he feeds the person next to him, and thus changes the bad place into another good place.

This got me thinking about the concepts of Heaven and Hell. Are they identical, except one is full of selfish people, while the other is full of selfless people? The Bible certainly doesn't think so. Revelation 21:5-8 says,

“Then the One seated on the throne said, ‘Look! I am making everything new.’ He also said, ‘Write, because these words are faithful and true.’ And He said to me, ‘It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give water as a gift to the thirsty from the spring of life. The victor will inherit these things, and I will be his God, and he will be My son. But the cowards, unbelievers, vile, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars—their share will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death’” (HCSB, emphasis added).

The word, “but,” between the emphasized portions explain that there is a distinction in the passage. Some, called “victors,” will live forever with God; others, described by their deeds, will go to a place of torment.

This is much different from the parable shared at my old job. In it, the two places are identical; the people are what change them. One is upset and selfish; the other is joyful and selfless. Heaven and Hell are not like this. Heaven is a place of rest; Hell is a place of torment. Just because Gandhi is in Hell doesn't mean that he can make it any better for anyone. When Paul wrote in Romans 9:3, that, “For I could almost wish to be cursed and cut off from the Messiah for the benefit of my brothers, my own flesh and blood,” he is not saying that he would go to Hell to make it better for those there. He is saying that Hell is so horrible that he would sacrifice his spot if only his fellow Jewish brothers could be saved. Hell is not the same as Heaven, minus the people who are there.

Heaven truly is paradise. However, many people, even some Christians, see Heaven and Hell as just a pair of dice. They would say that they are the same, and it’s impossible to separate them, except that Hell is where those go who don’t want God to be in their life. Hell then becomes a place where God is absent. However, the Bible says the opposite. Psalm 139:8 speaks of God’s omnipresence: “If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there.” God is in both. In Heaven He is comforting the saints; in Hell He is tormenting the damned.

You may say that that is a strong statement. However, it is not. We have all offended an eternal God. Therefore, the consequence as well should be eternal. If you killed one person, but then spent the next ten years as a doctor—saving hundreds of people—when you were finally arrested, you would be judged for the murder; the judge would be evil to let you get away based on the good things—saving—that you had done. If God didn't cast us into Hell for our sins, He would be unjust and evil. God forbid! Thankfully, He sent Christ to the earth, to live a perfect life, and die for our sins, so that our accounts could be switched when we put our complete and total faith in Him.

Rather than thinking that Heaven and Hell are only different because some people want to be with God and others do not, we must grasp the fact that Heaven is an amazing and perfect paradise, Hell is a place of torment; they are not pairs of dice, decided by chance by varying peoples’ attitudes.

Biblical Manhood 5--Live in Love to be a Real Man

2013 is at an end. This means that my Biblical manhood study is as well—at least in a purposeful sense. I may well come back to it at some point. However, I have learned many things that I totally realize I do not do well enough, but God’s grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9), and with it I will improve. From January 1st, where I learned initially that Biblical men are to be strong and courageous (which I can definitely improve on), to April 18th, where I learned that Biblical men trust God’s promises (which I can use work on), to August 4th, where I learned that Biblical men are ready for the Lord’s return (which I need to pray for more), to September 25th, where I learned that Biblical men are controlled by God (which is by no means an excuse to sin), to December 21st, where I learned that Biblical men repent (which I need to grow in). My study took me from the book of Joshua, to Ruth, Job, and the “Minor” Prophets. From there I went much slower—starting on February 16th—and made it through Acts, Genesis, Luke, Judges, 1 & 2 Samuel, and finally, 2 Chronicles—finishing on December 28th.

With only three days left in the year, I stopped, but today, I felt called to 1 Corinthians 16:13-14. This passage sums up everything I have read this whole year in the realm of Biblical manhood. In addition, it’s ironic because my dorm at school adopted this passage as their theme.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, “Be alert, stand firm in the faith, act like a man, be strong. Your every ⌊action⌋ must be done with love.”

Biblical men do everything in love. Evangelism, parenting, preaching, sin-fighting, doctrine-correcting, must all be done in love. Christians are to be known by their love, so Biblical men must be loving.

This verse is huge. It does not, by any means, mean that Biblical men are to be sissies. Love is one of the hardest things to truly do, and our culture is slowly working to destroy it. For Christian men to truly live in love, we will combat the culture. In the verse, we are given four commands: be alert, stand firm, act like a man, be strong. We are told to do all of this in love. Jesus said Himself in John 13:35 that, “By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” Allow me to elaborate.

Be alert. This means that we must be on guard. Guards must be in place against temptation, false beliefs, and anything else that will distract us from God. Doctrine-correction comes in here; it must be done with love. I’ve been studying the book of Jude the past few weeks, and its whole point is to warn against false teaching. First Peter 3:15-16 says, “[H]onor the Messiah as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. However, do this with gentleness and respect.” It’s specifically speaking of evangelism, but doctrine correction (“debates”) comes in the same way. We must do it in love, but keep ourselves alert to falsities.

Stand firm. This means that since we are believers, we can’t impinge on our beliefs. We have to hold to them. People look to us and how we act. Firmness must be held in actions so we are not called hypocrites. However, in so doing we must still be loving. Homosexuality is a good example of this. We must be firm in the fact that it is a sin, but we must be loving in how we go about telling them. We can’t be Westboro Baptist. We have to love the sinner enough to share God’s grace with them—which includes the fact that sin must and will be punished—and pray that God grants them salvation. However, we must stand firm in our beliefs.

Act like a man. This includes right relationships with brothers in Christ, right relationships with women, and right relationships with children. Men need relationships with fellow Christian men. Men need to treat women properly—whoever they are: mother, wife, sister in Christ—and use intimacy appropriate to that place. Men—if married—have a responsibility to properly raise their children in the fear and instruction of the Lord and to daily pray for their salvation. All of this should be done in love.

Be strong. Second Timothy 2:1 says, “You, therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.” We are to be strong—not primarily physically, but more so spiritually—in the grace of God. We must trust that grace as more powerful than anything we possess. God is good, and in Him is everything we need. This is love for God.

Do I do everything in love? How can I improve? Will I? Am I a Biblical man? How can I improve?

God, help me to be a man. A real man. A man after Your own heart. I read Proverbs 31 today as well—December 31—, and if I’m to find that woman, I must be a Biblical man myself. I love You, Lord. You’ve shown me much this year, and grown me too. Never let my life regress. Use me, God, to further Your kingdom. Thanks for grace and loving me first.

Biblical manhood 4--Real Men Bow Down in Repentance

My Biblical Manhood reading today had me read about the wickedest king of Judah—King Manasseh. Manasseh’s story has awed me from shortly after I was first saved. He doesn’t inspire me, but his is a comforting story for those saved by grace alone—of whom I am one. Second Chronicles 33:10-17 tells the story:

The LORD spoke to Manasseh and his people, but they didn’t listen. So He brought against them the military commanders of the king of Assyria. They captured Manasseh with hooks, bound him with bronze ⌊shackles⌋, and took him to Babylon. When he was in distress, he sought the favor of Yahweh his God and earnestly humbled himself before the God of his ancestors. He prayed to Him, so He heard his petition and granted his request, and brought him back to Jerusalem, to his kingdom. So Manasseh came to know that Yahweh is God. After this, he built the outer wall of the city of David from west of Gihon in the valley to the entrance of the Fish Gate; he brought it around the Ophel, and he heightened it considerably. He also placed military commanders in all the fortified cities of Judah. He removed the foreign gods and the idol from the LORD’s temple, along with all the altars that he had built on the mountain of the LORD’s temple and in Jerusalem, and he threw them outside the city. He built the altar of the LORD and offered fellowship and thank offerings on it. Then he told Judah to serve Yahweh, the God of Israel. However, the people still sacrificed at the high places, but only to Yahweh their God.

There is more to his story prior (33:1-9) and after (33:18-20), but the focus is on these verses.

Biblical men repent. Maybe they’ve lived wickedly their whole life, or maybe there’s just small sins that need repented of. Biblical men will repent. Manasseh is a prime example.

Manasseh was the typical teenager since he became king at age twelve (33:1) and immediately undid the good that his father Hezekiah had done in Judah (33:3). He built altars for other gods in God’s temple (33:4). He sacrificed his own children in the fire (33:6). In short he—as Judah’s leader—led the people into such evil that they were labeled as doing “worse evil than the nations the LORD had destroyed before the Israelites” (33:9).

Despite all this evil, God still spoke to Manasseh (33:10a). God is so good. Way more good than we deserve most of the time. However, Manasseh didn’t listen (33:10b). I see myself here in a sense: senior year of high school the only thing I wanted was for God to speak to me, but unfortunately I missed His voice until after I graduated, because I was looking for an audible voice and didn’t touch His Word. God will get the elect’s attention somehow though, and we see that in the next verses.

When Manasseh ignored God’s voice—through the prophets, Law, or auditory voice—God didn’t give up on him. It was all part of God’s sovereign will for Manasseh’s life. God sent Assyria to take him to Babylon (33:11). If Manasseh won’t listen to God when it’s just God, maybe he’ll listen to God when enemies are pressing against him and have him captured. It took me declaring God a liar and calling myself an atheist and contemplating suicide in order to come to the point where I could be changed by God’s grace.

Manasseh was changed. In a dank, dark, dirty prison he humbled himself and cried out to God (33:12). He prayed and confessed his sin (33:13). God is so good that He brought Manasseh back to Jerusalem and made him king again. Manasseh proved his repentance real by removing idols and altars to false gods and telling Judah to worship God alone (33:15-16).

Repentance means turning away from something to something else. Second Chronicles 33:13 ends with the words, “So Manasseh came to know that Yahweh is God,” which shows that he believed in God. True belief manifests itself with repentance—two sides of the same coin—and Manasseh displayed repentance too; 33:15 says, “He removed the foreign gods and the idol from the LORD’s temple, along with all the altars that he had built on the mountain of the LORD’s temple and in Jerusalem, and he threw them outside the city.” When people truly believe in Christ it intrinsically includes turning away from sin. This is why repentance is not a one-time altar call. The story of Manasseh is good for believers just as much as unbelievers. We all need God’s grace, and we all can do better at falling on our knees and repenting of our sins. I know I can. Real men bow down in repentance.

Unfortunately, godliness is not passed down genetically. Just as Manasseh was the opposite of his father, Hezekiah (33:3), his son, Amon, would follow his father’s original steps and do evil (33:21). Not only must we daily fall on our knees and repent, but we must cry out for God to grant repentance to our children. I should repent of not starting to pray sooner for my future children’s repentance.

Do I repent? Why not? How can I repent? What can I repent of?

God, help me to be quick to repent when I sin, and let my life be a life of habitual repentance in which I habitually choose You over sin. Thank You for choosing me over wrath. I should choose You over sin for that reason. I love You.

To Preach or Not to Preach?

So, I haven’t updated my blog in a while. I’ll update you in general briefly. Dated a girl (goodbye New Year’s resolution) for four weeks beginning on September 25^th. I’ve lived in Bolivar, Missouri at Southwest Baptist University since August 14^th. It’s been lots of fun, other than now feeling alone again and trying to get back to the point where I can honestly say, “I’m single, and it’s totally cool.” It’s so hard to be content!!!

Since being out here I’ve preached five times. In front of people. I specify that because I’ve prepared sermons since the beginning of 2012 that I’ve preached to my computer. I’ve preached three different sermons over the course of the last month. First three times were Psalm 51; before the third, I preached a message on a Saturday on 2 Corinthians 5:14-6:2; finally I preached on Isaiah 44:6-8.

My sermon propositions (or main points/applications) were the following. In Psalm 51, King David teaches us to come to God in a bold, yet humble, and sure state of repentance when we sin, so that we can be bold in our worship, and a light to the world. In 2 Corinthians 5:14-6:2 Paul teaches us to so love the lost that we would go and gospel them so that they can believe and be saved. In Isaiah 44:6-8, Isaiah presents us with a glorious portrait of God’s sovereignty so that we can live our lives as bold witnesses for Him—the only God.

Now that I’ve preached every week for a month the question has again come to mind: Is this what I’m supposed to do? Or to parallel a Shakespeare character, “To preach, or not to preach, that is the question?”. I would say, “Absolutely!” I don’t know what else to do. D. Martyn Lloyd Jones put it well in his classic work Preaching and Preachers.

[T]here should also be a sense of constraint…It means that you have the feeling that you can do nothing else…I would say that the only man who is called to preach is the man who cannot do anything else, in the sense that he is not satisfied with anything else. This call to preach is so put upon him, and such pressure comes to bear upon him that he says, ‘I can do nothing else, I must preach’ (Lloyd-Jones, 118).

I’ve tried to find something else to do for a living as well, and every time I’m drawn right back to pastoring. “This is something that happens to you; it is God dealing with you, and God acting upon you by His Spirit; it is something you become aware of rather than what you do. It is thrust upon you, it is presented to you and almost forced upon you constantly in this way” (Lloyd-Jones, 117). It’s a fire burning in my bones. Like Jeremiah wrote in Jeremiah 20:9, “But if I say, ‘I will not remember Him Or speak anymore in His name,’ Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire Shut up in my bones; And I am weary of holding it in, And I cannot endure it.” As much as it is demanding, time consuming, and intimidating to speak for God, I can’t think of anything else to do with my life.

I was saved in the summer of 2010 and all I’ve been able to think about is preaching since April of 2011. My call came in February of 2011 when I heard Shai Linne’s song “Expository Preaching” off the album, The Church: Called and Collected. In it he raps, “We got enough rappers, we need more pastors.” I tried to ignore it for a couple months, but finally I got to the point where I knew I should stop trying to fight it. And here I am, preaching every week (even twice in one of them) for a month.

However, while I totally know that I’m meant to preach, I’m very happy to not be doing it for a while. I feel like I’m starving while feeding others. I need to hear a sermon myself on Sundays. The way my church back home does it is awesome. Two preaching pastors, and a third one who fills in occasionally, preach two Sundays a month—two in a row—and split the four fifth weekends evenly. This way they get a two week break between preaching and receive rest. It’s exhausting to preach four Sundays in a row. When I have a church I’m going to stick with this pattern because I need weeks off. Preaching is a serious calling, and I need rest from it.

To preach or not to preach, that is the question; my answer is, “I must!”

Biblical manhood 3--Taking Hold of Christ

My Biblical Manhood reading yesterday morning had me read about a woman whose faith I would like to emulate. It is centered smack dab in the middle of a bigger healing story, but the one about the woman is more amazing by far in my opinion. Luke 8:41-48 tells the story.

Just then, a man named Jairus came. He was a leader of the synagogue. He fell down at Jesus’ feet and pleaded with Him to come to his house, because he had an only daughter about 12 years old, and she was at death’s door. While He was going, the crowds were nearly crushing Him. A woman suffering from bleeding for 12 years, who had spent all she had on doctors yet could not be healed by any, approached from behind and touched the tassel of His robe. Instantly her bleeding stopped. “Who touched Me?” Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds are hemming You in and pressing against You.” “Someone did touch Me,” said Jesus. “I know that power has gone out from Me.” When the woman saw that she was discovered, she came trembling and fell down before Him. In the presence of all the people, she declared the reason she had touched Him and how she was instantly cured. “Daughter,” He said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace.”

It goes on to tell of Jesus healing Jairus’s daughter as well, but the focus is on the bleeding woman in this post.

Biblical men want nothing less than to take hold of Christ and the power He has. In the passage, it was a woman, but still. Taking hold of Christ is a necessary thing sometimes, like Jacob in Genesis 32:24-32.

Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that He could not defeat him, He struck Jacob’s hip socket as they wrestled and dislocated his hip. Then He said to Jacob, “Let Me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob said, “I will not let You go unless You bless me.” “What is your name?” the man asked. “Jacob,” he replied. “Your name will no longer be Jacob,” He said. “It will be Israel because you have struggled with God and with men and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked Him, “Please tell me Your name.” But He answered, “Why do you ask My name?” And He blessed him there. Jacob then named the place Peniel, “For I have seen God face to face, and I have been delivered.” The sun shone on him as he passed by Penuel—limping because of his hip. That is why, to this day, the Israelites don’t eat the thigh muscle that is at the hip socket: because He struck Jacob’s hip socket at the thigh muscle.

This passage is very important to compare with the one of the woman, and I will get back to that in a couple sentences. The first thing to notice about Jacob is that He persisted in wrestling with God (vs. 25). Second, Jacob asked for a blessing before letting go (vs. 26). Third, Jacob wanted to know God more intimately (vs. 29).

This parallels the story of the woman who touched Jesus. First, she persisted in trying to solve her bleeding problem, turning to Christ as a last resort (Luke 8:43). Second, she was blessed by Christ (vs. 44). Third, she came to know Him more intimately (vs. 48).

This is amazing to think about. So often we waste all our time, money, and emotions trying to buy happiness, when in reality it’s only found in Christ. Learning this sooner, rather than later, will save tons of heartache.

Christ will bless us if we take hold of Him. Maybe not in a physical or monetary sense, but definitely in a spiritual—our greatest need—sense. The bleeding woman was healed because she took hold of Him. Her healing was not only physical, but also spiritual. If it had only been spiritual, she wouldn’t have been healed and we wouldn’t be aware that Jesus can forgive sins (Luke 5:23-24). She was healed of her greatest physical need and her greatest spiritual need at the same exact time.

If we take hold of Christ we come to know Him more intimately. The words Jesus said to the woman are amazing, “‘Daughter,’ He said to her, ‘your faith has made you well. Go in peace’” (vs. 48). He called her daughter, because she had been saved by His grace and was now a child of God. Talk about intimate. I want to hear Christ say, “Son, your faith has cured your sin. Go in peace.” Peace there is a wonderful phrase. When you’ve been saved by Christ, “the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). It makes no sense even to us. It surpasses every thought or notion we have of it. The interesting thing here is the verse immediately prior goes back to wrestling with God—taking hold of Him—in prayer. This peace that will guard us is the result of it. “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” (4:6).

We need to wrestle with God and take hold of Christ every day. In every temptation. In every blessing. In every trial. Take hold of Christ. And pray!

Do I take hold of Christ? How can I improve?

God, thank You for allowing me to take hold of You. I pray You help me not let go as easily in the future as I have in the recent past. I love You and want to honor You.

Puffy Heart Filled with Rocks

“3/16/13

“Dear God,

“Here’s the latest. My new year’s resolution, while I’d like to keep it, doesn’t have to kept. If I stick to it just to stick to it, I’m being a legalist. You see, there’s a girl I’m very interested in. Her name is ___(for her privacy)___.

“I don’t know what will become of it. I don’t know if she’s even interested. Part of me doesn’t want her to be, because a relationship isn’t practical right now. School starts in five months and all my time and money needs to go towards that. However, if it’s meant to be, it’ll work out somehow. You, God, are sovereign and You will work it out.

“Another part wants her to be interested. She’s the most godly girl I’ve ever met. Beautiful inside and out. Whoever ends up marrying her one day will be the luckiest guy on earth. The world is in need of more women like her. Bless her future marriage.

“If we’re meant to be, grow my desire. If not, kill it asap. I don’t want to waste time, energy, or emotions—mine or hers.

“Guide me and continue to prepare me for my future wife. I can’t wait to meet her. (Maybe I already have…only You know.)

“I love You, Lord! Whatever happens, keep my focus on You and don’t let me fall like last time. I’m living for Your glory.

“—Josh W.”

Thus I prayed a week ago and I’ve learned a ton since then. Here’s the rundown: I have a hard, prideful heart. I would have realized neither if the girl situation hadn’t happened.

She wants to be solely friends. I found out less than 28 hours after writing the prayer last Saturday. The point is that God killed my desire asap, just as I asked.

I was in the middle of reading The Discipline of Grace, by Jerry Bridges, at the time and this quote has been lodged in my mind ever since. “One further discipline is still absolutely necessary in the process of sanctification—the discipline of adversity or hardship. Adversity is not a discipline we undertake ourselves, but is imposed on us by God as a means of spiritual growth…The purpose of the discipline of adversity, then, is to make us more holy” (218). He goes on to write: “This does not necessarily mean a particular hardship is related to a specific act or habit of sin in our lives. It does mean that every expression of discipline has as its intended end conformity to the likeness of Christ” (223).

One of my friends made the comment, “Josh’s heart is like a diamond—it can’t get broken,” because he was trying to help me feel better about the girl situation not working out. I thought about it for a few minutes and I realized that regardless of whether or not a girl breaks my heart (this one didn’t) my heart doesn’t break when it should. I am a sinful creature and God has forgiven me; I should mourn over the sin in my life, but I don’t, because my heart has become hardened to the weight of sin. Luke 8:6, 13 says, “Other seed fell on the rock; when it sprang up, it withered, since it lacked moisture…And the seed on the rock are those who, when they hear, welcome the word with joy. Having no root, these believe for a while and depart in a time of testing.” I believe I’m in the good soil (as a believer in Christ) but there is truth to the fact that sometimes the ground dries up and turns into a rock (or weeds pop up at other times). Tears are moisture, and they water the ground so it doesn’t become a rock. My life lacks moisture, so I need to ask God to break my heart for what breaks His. If the girl situation hadn’t happened, my friend wouldn’t have made the comment and I wouldn’t have realized this truth.

Secondly, I’m prideful. What happened was this: several weeks ago my friend told me that the girl was interested in a godly guy (at our workplace I assumed). My prideful heart told me, “I’m the most godly guy I know, so it’s got to be me.” This brings up Proverbs 16:18, which reads, “Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall.” If I’d never fallen for the girl, I wouldn’t have realized how prideful I am. My prayer used to be, “God, be merciful to me, the sinner” (Luke 18:13, NASB). When did I fall from that to think I’m super godly? Romans 12:3 explains that, “For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one.” I was thinking of myself way too highly, and not being sensible at all. It led to a fall, but that’s for another time.

God, thank You for Your gace every day. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. I’m sick of being prideful and hard hearted. Keep me humble and repentant. I love You. Thank for teaching me these practical truths that I’ve been ignoring. It took falling for a girl to show me, but I’m glad You allowed it to happen. Thank You for letting us remain friends; she’s a great girl. I’m very glad I know her. As spoken above, her future husband is going to be one lucky guy. Bless her marriage. Prepare me for my future wife. Amen.

Biblical manhood 2--Giving People Jesus

Currently, in my Biblical manhood study, I am in the book of Acts, and a section that stuck out to me was Acts 3:1-4:4. It is the story of Peter and John healing a lame man in the temple complex. Acts 3:3-8 tells the main point of the story.

When (the lame man) saw Peter and John about to enter the temple complex, he asked for help. Peter, along with John, looked at him intently and said, “Look at us.” So he turned to them, expecting to get something from them. But Peter said, “I don’t have silver or gold, but what I have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!” Then, taking him by the right hand he raised him up, and at once his feet and ankles became strong. So he jumped up, stood, and started to walk, and he entered the temple complex with them—walking, leaping, and praising God.

It goes on to show that it was an avenue for preaching the gospel to the people around him, but for now I’m going to focus on this section.

Biblical men give people Jesus in word and action. It can’t be one or the other. It needs to be both. Actions prove words true and may even give an occasion for words.

People in our world need help—monetarily, emotionally, spiritually—and we are here called to help them. We can’t live lives of selfish isolation, only worrying about ourselves and our agendas. We are to give people of ourselves, and thus give people Jesus. First John 3:16 says, “This is how we have come to know love: (Christ) laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.” You cannot give up your life if you are selfish and hold onto Jesus for yourself and never share Him. And, while the verse speaks of brothers (Christians) we are elsewhere told to love everyone—even our enemies (Matthew 5:44-45). If you refuse to share the gospel with them, you don’t love them.

Spiritual needs aren’t the only needs people have. The passage in Acts proves this. Peter and John miraculously heal the man and people see it. They see them give Him Jesus in action and verses 9-12, 16 elaborate.

All the people saw him walking and praising God, and they recognized that he was the one who used to sit and beg at the Beautiful Gate of the temple complex. So they were filled with awe and astonishment at what had happened to him. While he was holding on to Peter and John, all the people, greatly amazed, ran toward them in what is called Solomon’s Colonnade. When Peter saw this, he addressed the people: “Men of Israel, why are you amazed at this? Or why do you stare at us, as though we had made him walk by our own power or godliness?…By faith in His name, His name has made this man strong, whom you see and know. So the faith that comes through Him has given him this perfect health in front of all of you.”

These people saw Peter and John heal the lame man and wanted to know more which led to a gospel proclamation.

The point is that sometimes, rather than just diving into the gospel, we should offer people something else first. Does your neighbor need yard work? Offer to mow his lawn for free.  Does your coworker need dinner? Offer to buy for the both of you. Does your enemy need his car washed? Offer to wash it (and do so carefully—no scratches). Selfless acts like these are what John meant when he wrote that “We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.” Doing good without expecting anything in return is exactly what is meant here. If you die for someone, you aren’t going to get another shot at living; so it should be with good deeds. Don’t expect benefits in return.

Verse six is still the central point of this passage. “But Peter said, ‘I don’t have silver or gold, but what I have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!’”

I don’t believe that it’s appropriate to tell a homeless person, “I have no money, but I do have Jesus. Listen to me!” Most of us, even if we have no cash, still carry credit cards and can easily go into a fast food place and buy something for the person and then share the gospel while they eat. If you care enough to cover a physical need for them, they will be more inclined to listen about their spiritual need for Christ. This is proved in the Acts passage. He asked for money. Peter said he had none. Then he healed him. Then he shared the gospel.

We need to give people Jesus in word and action.

Do I only use words? Or do I only use deeds? Either one, alone, is off-balance and wrong. I need both.

God, please help my actions give people Your Son and not just my words. Help my words center more around You as well. I need help in both of these areas.

P.S.     Maybe you’re wondering about the other part of my New Year’s resolution prayer. There is a girl on my mind these days, and I’m praying that it goes away, but I tag this on the end of this post because it also goes with Peter’s statement in verse six of Acts 3. “I don’t have silver or gold, but…I have…Jesus Christ the Nazarene.” I’m praying hard that she doesn’t become an idol, which is exactly the reason why I made the resolution in the first place. I need to realize that I don’t have much money, I don’t have much free time, I don’t have a girlfriend, but I do have Jesus Christ, and really, He is ALL I need to be content.

More later, (maybe) but for now know that this is where I’m at in my New Year’s resolution prayer. I’m praying for strength. If you could pray too, I’d appreciate it.